Children and Behavior

Do you ever worry about the way your children act?  I have received lots of emails from concerned Moms about behavior issues covering everything from interacting with peers to throwing tantrums to making friends.  It seems there are a lot of worries for Moms when it comes to behavior and social skills.

We decided to talk to an expert.  Bo Dooley and her sister Casey run The Greenhouse in Mobile.  It's an organization dedicated to helping children -- and, their parents -- understand behavior and social skills.  And, how those relate out there in the real world.  First things first, Bo says all kids are different and everything is normal.  But, if there is a behavior you are trying to stop, start by ignoring it. 

"Have a picture of what you want your child to be.   Anything that does not fit that, I ignore.  And, I don't mean ignore like never talk about it. It's called planned ignoring.  Meaning, you're working really hard to ignore it.  You're not giving any reinforcement.  And, then, reinforce any slight approximation of what you do want, the appropriate behavior," explained Bo.

Bo says it's important to focus on the positives - the strengths our children have - and, build from there.  Reinforce what you want to happen.  Communication is so important in working on behavior skills.  We need to tell our children when we're proud of them, and help guide them toward the behaviors we want.  We also need to listen to our kids.  Bo says their behavior can be directly linked to their level of frustration.  So, it's important we work to understand their feelings and needs.  And, we should try to show our children how to be successful.  Bo says success promotes motivation, and,motivation promotes progress.

Some good things to think about!  And, if you'd like more information on Bo and Casey Dooley and their programs at The Greenhouse, click here .  For more on social and behavior skills, click here .